Our ten year old asked me to help her meet her inner child. There is an audio version of this on Leta's podcast about breathing (www.letahamilton.com). This is what we did:

                Close your eyes. Breathe into your belly. Breathe deeply

                Imagine you are on a beach. You are sitting on the warm sand facing the ocean with your eyes closed. You dig your feet under the soft silky sand and listen to the waves. Feel a comforting presence sit right behind you that wraps its arms and wings around you. This is your guardian angel. Put your hands on to the angel’s hands in acknowledgement and lean back against this unconditional support. Breathe in the love. Breathe out gratefulness. Keep your eyes closed.

                Next, open your hands to accept a child. Keep your eyes closed and just feel him or her. Is it a baby? Is it a toddler? Is it a child? Wrap your arms around your inner child with the same amount of love that the angel gives to you. If this is hard to do, conjure up the love you have felt for a special youngster in your life and then send that to this child in your lap. Breathe in the love from the angel and breathe love out to the child. Breathe.

                Let the three of you rock gently back and forth to a song. What song is it? Breathe.

                Talk to the child and let her know who you are. “Hi Sweetheart, I’m you all grown up.” Tell her why you are here, “I’m here to love you better than anyone has ever loved you!” Breathe.

Make a commitment to her, “I’m here to hold you everyday. I will never ever leave you alone or unprotected. I will never abandon you. I will check in with you for at least 17 seconds everyday to see what you want or need. We can play together if you want. We can dance or sing, swing or jump rope, climb or cuddle. When I am taking care of my family, I will leave you with this wonderful, awesome angel.” Breathe.

Your eyes are still closed in your imagination. Spend some more seconds rocking with the three of you safe in each other’s arms. Breathe. Ask your inner child to give you a sign that you will encounter in your everyday life she can use to give you a signal that she needs you. You may hear something. You may see a picture. You may just know what the signal is. Thank her. Breathe.

Listen as you rock and breathe. Is there anything she wants to tell you? (This all depends on your inner child. Mine took months to talk to me. She needed to trust me first.) Breathe.

When it is time to come back to reality, hand the child to the angel and open your imaginary eyes to see the two of them make eye contact. Introduce them to each other as they stare into each other’s eyes. Let the child know that the angel has strict instructions to give the child anything she needs. Wink to your angel. Thank your angel. Set a time for later or tomorrow to come back to check in and promise that you will be holding her again at the set time or sooner.

When you walk down the beach back to reality, set an alarm for the promised time. At that time, stop and hold her for at least 17 seconds.

At least once a day, hold her and comfort her with the words you would want to hear as a child. Know that you and the angel can care for her together. You are an inseparable team. You will be loyal.

Our ten year old said, "Oh I have a whole bunch of angels for her to play with!"

Present Moments Become Future Stories

Today I enjoyed many stories about relatives and ancestors as my family gathered to support each other during a time of loss.

Which present moment will be a story that my children and grandchildren will someday pass on?

Presents

Tonight as I go to bed, I'm going to offer my inner child a package.Inside is the gift she wants most in the world.

I can't wait to see what it is!

Christmas Play

It is a busy time of year, so I would love to share the seasonally appropriate way I'm going to play with my inner child today, for seventeen seconds:

Each year, I secretly wish I could have a completely different Christmas tree. So, today I'm going to decorate a Christmas tree with my inner child.

Is it a giant tree or dinky and precious?

Is it flocked? Sparkly? Green and fresh?

What color lights are we going to choose?

Are the ornaments going to match? Different colors or a color theme?

We may need a ladder for that glowing angel on the top!

Hey, we could put on wings and be angels, too!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Securing Myself

Some of us wish we could go back in time to repair, build, or improve our own secure attachments.

I have a close relationship with both my parents now. Even though I have no complaints about my childhood, the inner child in each of us still wishes he or she had had something more.

What child is happy when told, "No," or that he or she can't have all the candy they want. Even when I had a mom that didn't hold back on the sugar, I still have society's influence making me feel like I can't have everything I want.

Anyway, the key is meeting and building a relationship with the inner child within. I've been spending 17 seconds with my inner child, and the healing has begun.

Our ten year old has been finding out what her inner child likes to do for fun. Our twelve year old has been feeding her inner child all the chocolate straws she wants!

Go find a picture of yourself when you were little. Pull it out of the album and put it next to your bed. Smile at your little you.

Security

Who wants to feel secure?

Psychology says a secure bond between a child and caregiver is important. Statistics show that babies with a secure attachment with at least one caregiver grow up to have healthy relationships with teachers, friends, future mates, etc.

Who doesn't want that for not only our own children? But wouldn't it be wonderful if every human felt secure and had healthy relationships?

Even if you are not a parent, you have met a child who needed security: a student, a relative, a child in the grocery store.

As a teacher, I often felt helpless. I wanted to take some of my students home and make everything all better. After trying a million different things, I finally realized the only thing I could do was be the best teacher I could be.

That meant starting with me, taking better care of myself with enough rest, exercise, meditation, and writing. I began healing my own stuff. My classroom instantly reflected the change.

Now that I am a step-mother, I don't have as much time for these healthy behaviors. Still, I want to help the girls feel secure.

Although they were securely attached with at least one primary caregiver, I wasn't there at the beginning of their lives to foster a secure attachment to me. Is it too late? How can I give them this gift?

I realized I can start with myself.

And this time, it only takes 17 seconds! Stay tuned...