Each Tuesday (2pm PST), my sister and I host an internet radio show called "The Way of the Toddler Hour" on www.toginet.com.
We want to hear about how you or someone you know are truly amazing! If we read your entry on the show, you could win one of the following:
* a copy of The Way of the Toddler by Leta Hamilton
* a dream interpretation
* get your Corpus Callosum (brain superhighway) opened up to 100% using BIT/s
* have an allergy "balanced"
* relieve the stress of an emotionally tough situation
Write to us today! My email is ascendingenergy@gmail.com.
Whether you are a parent or not, I hope what I share here helps you find hope and tools that help us feel whole... Please pass this blog on to anyone you know that has experienced sadness, disappointment, trauma, abandonment, or anger in their past. What am I talking about: The more I get to parent, the more I realize how important it is for me to heal my own emotional baggage, so I can be an emotionally healthy example as we guide the next generation to be all that they can be.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Instead of During the Holidays
As a birth mother, I gave up holidays with my daughter permanently, so she could enjoy the traditions of her adoptive family. Since it is a semi-open adoption, it means that I get to see her every once in awhile at a different time of year. She is 22 now, and we just had a week with her at the beginning of November, without the stress of a big holiday meal. We didn't have to make sure any presents were wrapped. We just spent quality time together. It was the best gift in the whole world!
Remember there are 5 ways to share love. They are referred to as Love Languages: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.
These help reduce the stress of holiday gift giving! Just because we are adults, it doesn't mean we can't make our own coupons for loved ones! Plus, you can specify a time that works for you. This reduces the time and money pressure of the holiday season, and it spreads things out. For example, you could offer to babysit someone's kids for a weekend in May. You could bring the trash cans in for the neighbor in Feb. You could promise to add an extra hug into your visits with a family member whose Love Language is physical touch. I see my mom every weekday, and my husband suggested I say goodbye this way. It felt awkward to change a habit at first, but now it feels good! I can put it in my calendar to send a monthly email to my introverted friend who loves her words of affirmation in writing.
I'm so grateful for a daughter who was willing to take four days out of her busy schedule. It was better than any million dollar present would have been! Sometimes a moment is worth a thousand promises!
Remember there are 5 ways to share love. They are referred to as Love Languages: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.
These help reduce the stress of holiday gift giving! Just because we are adults, it doesn't mean we can't make our own coupons for loved ones! Plus, you can specify a time that works for you. This reduces the time and money pressure of the holiday season, and it spreads things out. For example, you could offer to babysit someone's kids for a weekend in May. You could bring the trash cans in for the neighbor in Feb. You could promise to add an extra hug into your visits with a family member whose Love Language is physical touch. I see my mom every weekday, and my husband suggested I say goodbye this way. It felt awkward to change a habit at first, but now it feels good! I can put it in my calendar to send a monthly email to my introverted friend who loves her words of affirmation in writing.
I'm so grateful for a daughter who was willing to take four days out of her busy schedule. It was better than any million dollar present would have been! Sometimes a moment is worth a thousand promises!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Last Halloween, First Thanksgiving
Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. I enjoyed it fine, but I didn't anxiously await its coming like Christmas. So when designing the holiday schedule for the kids spending time with both sets of parents, we chose to reduce changes in the routine and just left Halloween in the regular routine rather than add exchanges and such.
It turns out, though, that because of how the calendar falls, it was our last trick-or-treat night with the girls until they are teens. I don't know if they'll still want to go then. My family said that if I was too old to go with Dad, then we were too old to go at all (with the other teen agers). I told the girls about that. They asked why. I told them about some of the stuff teenagers are known to do on Halloween. They thought that such pranks were stupid. I sure hope that sticks!
So, we made the most of it. We took pictures and video. We set it up to go trick-or-treating with a friend of each girl. We started with the younger daughter's friend while it was still light. Then we stopped by our fairy godmother's house, my parent's house (for a picture and 2 liter bottles of root beer), my sister-in-law's place. Last, we went with the older daughter's friend and her family. This was close enough to our house that my husband went to get the dog. The girls dressed up the dog, since the four of us were all decked out. One girl was a "princess cowgirl thingy" and the other was a wizard who didn't even need a wand. I was Sleeping Beauty and my husband was my prince. We separately found our costumes at a thrift store and without coordinating, ended up with matching princess bodice and prince suit complete with sequins. The girls were so generous with their candy! I sure wasn't as a kid.
I found a new appreciation for the glories of Halloween. We'll probably be able to take hay rides together in the future years, but I'll only be able to send angels on the trick-or-treat nights when they go with their mother.
On the other hand, it will be our first Thanksgiving as a family, being able to have the whole day together, the whole weekend enjoying relatives, pigging out, cuddling, and LAUGHING. Oh how grateful I am!
It turns out, though, that because of how the calendar falls, it was our last trick-or-treat night with the girls until they are teens. I don't know if they'll still want to go then. My family said that if I was too old to go with Dad, then we were too old to go at all (with the other teen agers). I told the girls about that. They asked why. I told them about some of the stuff teenagers are known to do on Halloween. They thought that such pranks were stupid. I sure hope that sticks!
So, we made the most of it. We took pictures and video. We set it up to go trick-or-treating with a friend of each girl. We started with the younger daughter's friend while it was still light. Then we stopped by our fairy godmother's house, my parent's house (for a picture and 2 liter bottles of root beer), my sister-in-law's place. Last, we went with the older daughter's friend and her family. This was close enough to our house that my husband went to get the dog. The girls dressed up the dog, since the four of us were all decked out. One girl was a "princess cowgirl thingy" and the other was a wizard who didn't even need a wand. I was Sleeping Beauty and my husband was my prince. We separately found our costumes at a thrift store and without coordinating, ended up with matching princess bodice and prince suit complete with sequins. The girls were so generous with their candy! I sure wasn't as a kid.
I found a new appreciation for the glories of Halloween. We'll probably be able to take hay rides together in the future years, but I'll only be able to send angels on the trick-or-treat nights when they go with their mother.
On the other hand, it will be our first Thanksgiving as a family, being able to have the whole day together, the whole weekend enjoying relatives, pigging out, cuddling, and LAUGHING. Oh how grateful I am!
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