Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Age Appropriate???

Parents and educators can read a lot of advice about child development to get information about the average age range for various abilities. I'm a former teacher and someone who now works with the brain, so I get that there are certain thing that need to happen in the brain before certain concepts can be grasped.

However, I am also getting to discover the individual component now that I am a step-mom watching our precious little girls turn into young ladies. I think I am especially aware of the leaps they take, since we have the girls every other week. Just a week can equal major developments, but add some vacation days on there, too, and they come back to us with whole additional layers! I watch in amazement at the new facial expressions or gestures. I listen, mesmerized, as one of them shares a new thought or understanding about the world.

I am starting to see the routines become automatic. One girl may remind the other, but I'm getting to thank them for putting away the brush instead of asking them to do it.

I especially think it is cool that the almost 10 year old considers making mature changes before leaping into them to please us. She analyzes her feelings about something, like using nasal irrigation, and then estimates when she might feel ready to try it again. She thinks the week of her birthday might be good.

Maybe I'm foolish and really she is just procrastinating. Some changes have been made and then set backs or sliding back into old habits can happen. But the biggest thing I'm impressed by is the evaluation process I see them employing instead of just trying to be liked by peers or family members. I grew up trying to please everyone, and it doesn't work as nicely as I thought it would. However, if I'd grown up making only the changes that I'd evaluated and liked, I wonder if my self-esteem would be different.

Anyway, I'm learning that introducing topics or routines may work now, later, some of both or neither. It is all one kid at a time, one moment at a time.

I love this job!

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