Instead of During the Holidays

As a birth mother, I gave up holidays with my daughter permanently, so she could enjoy the traditions of her adoptive family.  Since it is a semi-open adoption, it means that I get to see her every once in awhile at a different time of year.  She is 22 now, and we just had a week with her at the beginning of November, without the stress of a big holiday meal.  We didn't have to make sure any presents were wrapped.  We just spent quality time together.  It was the best gift in the whole world!

Remember there are 5 ways to share love.  They are referred to as Love Languages:  gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch.

These help reduce the stress of holiday gift giving!  Just because we are adults, it doesn't mean we can't make our own coupons for loved ones!  Plus, you can specify a time that works for you.  This reduces the time and money pressure of the holiday season, and it spreads things out.  For example, you could offer to babysit someone's kids for a weekend in May.  You could bring the trash cans in for the neighbor in Feb.  You could promise to add an extra hug into your visits with a family member whose Love Language is physical touch.  I see my mom every weekday, and my husband suggested I say goodbye this way.  It felt awkward to change a habit at first, but now it feels good! I can put it in my calendar to send a monthly email to my introverted friend who loves her words of affirmation in writing.

I'm so grateful for a daughter who was willing to take four days out of her busy schedule.  It was better than any million dollar present would have been!  Sometimes a moment is worth a thousand promises!